Calamity Jane
I'm going to tell you about a true-to-life hero who was born long ago. Her name was Calamity Jane. She was born so long ago that she didn't have any video games or smartphones. Why, they hadn't even invented the telephone when Calamity Jane was growing up. If Calamity Jane needed to call somebody in a different town, she just breathed in real deep and started hollering. They say that one time, when Calamity Jane needed to call someone three states away, she yelled so loud that the thunder in Kansas got scared and left for Oklahoma. That's a true fact.
Calamity was born in Missouri but her family like to move around a lot. When she was young, her family packed up a wagon and traveled to Montana. They bought a dirt farm. That was a problem, though, because no one needs to buy dirt. The family couldn't make a living so they packed up and moved to Utah. All they found was more dirt, so they went to Wyoming. Calamity Jane and her family took the old wagon so far through the country that they wore off the wheels. People say that all the traveling got down into her heart and she never could stop moving. She was restless and had to keep wondering even in her sleep
Lucky for Jane, she got a job riding the Pony Express. Before there were text messages and emails, you had to send your letters through the mail. Back in the wild west the mailman didn't have a truck. He had a fast pony. He would ride as fast as lightning to deliver his bag full of mail. Calamity Jane got a job working as a mailwoman for the Pony Express. She rode so fast and so far, her pony couldn’t keep up with her. One pony got so tired he couldn't run any farther, so Calamity Jane got out of the saddle and ran along next to him for 14 miles. That horse was just too tired to get on. Jane couldn't show up late with the mail, though. She picked up that pony and carried him the rest of the way to Fort Laramie! There were a hundred people there that day and I also swear that's the true fact.
Calamity Jane made a lot of friends in her travels. Many folks thought of her as a kind and happy girl. On the other hand, she found herself in plenty of fights, too. If traveling was what Jane did best, then fighting with her next best sport. She fought with everyone. She fought with the Native Americans. She fought with her brother and sister. She fought with her husband. She fought in the Army. Once, Calamity Jane woke up so angry she even fought with herself! That's how she got her nose broken and went deaf in her left ear for two whole weeks. That's a true fact.
I guess all that traveling and fighting was too much for her, though. Calamity Jane got sick one day riding on a train. She was fighting with some passengers and refused to get off the train. The conductor had to carry her off because she wasn't done arguing. Calamity Jane died in a little cabin by the railroad track. People say you can fight all you want, but you can't argue with death. Don't tell that to Calamity Jane , though. If you walk by the cemetery at night, you can still hear her hollering. That, my friend, is a true fact.